OPINION: Ukraine at Eurovision Song Contest – Worst to Best

OPINION: Ukraine at Eurovision Song Contest – Worst to Best

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are that of one of our writers, Tadeusz Cisłak, and does not necessarily represent the views of the entire voteforthemusic team.

In honour of Ukraine winning ESC 2022, we present an overview and ranking of all songs that had represented them on European stages so far!

The recent triumph of Kalush Orchestra in Turin cements Ukrainian status a powerhouse of Eurovision Song Contest. In just 19 years of their participation in the event, they won three times, qualified for the final every single time they competed and got to be known for both astounding vocal prowess of their artists and quirky splendor of their stagings. Ukrainian performances are the experiences hard to be left indifferent about – I found out personally how much passion their bold musical endeavours can ignite. This passion may become unconditional love, a bitter hatred, an ambivalent mess of impression and deficiency, or transform from one of those to another without warning. Today, when the very existence of this gifted nation is at stake, I want to share this honest ranking as a token of support and gratitude for the emotional rollercoaster that their music brought, brings and hopefully continues bringing to Eurovision in years to come.

Several ground rules first. One, this list is only going to feature Ukraine’s Official Entries for Eurovision Song Contest. An Official Entry is the song that has been submitted by the broadcaster, accepted by the EBU and hasn’t been withdrawn or disqualified from the competition. This means that the likes of Siren Song by Maruv or Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors by Alina Pash will NOT be included, while Solovey by Go_A will be. Two, each of the songs is going to receive a score in scale from 0 to 10, as well as three secondary scores in the same scale, regarding the categories of Technical Quality, Vocal Quality and Personal Enjoyment. All scores are the reflection of my opinion and only my opinion, unless stated otherwise, and will be determined based on Grand Final Performance of the song with the exception of Solovey, which will be judged based on their Official Music Video. The primary score is not an average of secondary scores. Everything’s clear? Then let’s get to it!

18. Olexandr – Hasta La Vista (Ukraine 2003)

Several participating countries, like Poland, Serbia and Latvia, have a reputation for their first entry being the greatest one they ever put out, and unmatched since. For Ukraine, the opposite is true, as their first entry is also their worst.

Entered in 2003, halfway through Eurovision’s dark age, Hasta La Vista unfortunately shares most of the issues associated with this age. An easy-going schlager with the elements of ballad that would be perfect to dance to at the party – yet not necessarily worth being danced to. Unimpressive, uninspired and very much forgettable, this sugar-coated composition nevertheless still proves better than many of contemporary entries, as it’s relatively consistent and inoffensive to ears. I don’t think Hasta La Vista would leave a bad taste in anyone’s mind – perhaps it’s an early hint at Ukrainian musicmaking prowess that we got to fully experience later. There’s a certain level of technical quality that they just won’t go below.

The same can’t be said about Olexandr Ponomariov’s vocals, which are completely out of tune from the very first second, yet the artist seems completely unaware of it, as he carries on in the same key all the way to the end with no attempts at course correction. This performance would be a shame for anyone who made any larger effort to be a decent singer, not to mention someone who’s supposed to be a professional vocalist. However, it is not unlike many other 2003 acts, and also just like them it tries to distract from its shortcomings with an interesting (read: goofy) staging – in this case, a gymnastician standing on her hands and performing all kinds of difficult body exercises. It doesn’t work – this acrobat seems more out of place here by anything. Overall, Hasta La Vista is far from creative achievement and didn’t perform so well on the contest either, showing Ukrainian broadcaster that following the herd isn’t the right strategy for Eurovision and they need to look for a different path. For that contribution to making Ukraine at Eurovision what it is today, I suppose Hasta La Vista deserves some of our gratitude.

Technical Quality: 5.5/10

Vocal Quality: 5.25/10

Personal Enjoyment: 5.75/10

5.5/10

17. O. Torvald – Time (Ukraine 2017)

Time is what I like to call a perfectly unremarkable song.

Unlike another editor here, I don’t think sending a rock song itself is a poor idea. However, like any song, it has to be good to succeed at the contest, and Eurovision clearly struggles to have multiple successful rock entries. I suppose Maneskin’s wide success is a glimmer of hope on this front. Time is no Zitti E Buoni though – it lacks the lead singer with charisma, the distinct and captivating style, or even fancy costumes. In fact, it lacks pretty much anything – all it has is a giant metal head with lightbulbs in eyes.

This isn’t a bad song, but it’s hard to call it a good song either. This perfectly adequate piece of music fades away from memory once the next one comes around. The vocalist does a perfectly decent job, having only a few voice hiccups well-hidden by the track, but doesn’t impress. While forgettable, this song still isn’t boring and still represents a certain level of production, which saves it from getting 5. Once again, Ukrainians don’t fall below it.

Now however, time to talk about a more interesting entry.

Technical Quality: 5.75/10

Vocal Quality: 5.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 5/10

5.75/10

16. Mika Newton – Angel (Ukraine 2011)

This placing will probably get me into trouble.

Angel came 4th in 2011 contest – you know, the one won by Azerbaijani sugar-coated pop song that is widely considered one of the weakest winners and only has a couple of loyal fans, like myself. This should give you quite a good sense of the kind of quality we’re dealing with here.

My list of issues with Angel is unfortunately quite extensive, starting with production. That’s a cool bell you have there, but… is that the whole arrangement? Where is the secondary track? I’m hearing an empty “space” between the main track and the vocal, as if someone forgot to add a component there, and I don’t think this should be the case because it very much doesn’t serve the song – it makes it sound like home-made karaoke, not the professional performance on international stage (it is handled slightly better in the music video, but that’s not what we rate here). With a weaker singer, the song would die right there – fortunately Mika knows her stuff and delivers very good vocals that partially make up for melodical shortcomings. Less fortunately, she tries a bit too hard and includes some of Ukrainian trademark white voice which doesn’t really fit there, lacks the necessary melodic backup and has slightly worse quality than her normal vocals. Ok, there’s no good way to put this – it just sounds like howling at times.

Additionally, this genre of vocal-driven pop ballad happened to be rather popular in 2000s Central and Eastern Europe, including my home country Poland. By the time of 2011, it became quite worn out, so to win over someone of my background, the song of this kind would have to be highly creative and polished.

Angel is not such a song. On top of all I already mentioned, it repeats patterns from the likes of Dima Bilan’s Never Let You Go and Believe, and the hook is similar to the ones used in several rock songs (yes, rock songs). I don’t like when I can note a pattern between songs, because there’s still plenty of sound to explore in music and we don’t need to repeat ourselves yet. This is much more of a personal nitpick than proper flaw, but it still hinders my enjoyment of the song. Overall, while I think there was a material for a good song here, a series of technical mistakes left Angel as disappointing half-product that can be utterly spoilt by something as petty as connotation with another track. Even the interesting staging idea of Kseniya Simonova’s sand art gets underused here – when Moldovan Stay borrowed it 8 years later, they did much better job at synchronizing the artist with the rhythm and making pictures relevant to the theme. Or maybe that’s just me.

I initially wanted to put this song last, but between Mika Newton’s vocal prowess, good beat and – admitedly – fairly cool bell in main track, there’s still more to like here than in Time. Nonetheless, from the powerhouse like Ukraine I expect better. This isn’t the worst, but quite likely the most disappointing of their entries.

Technical Quality: 4.5/10

Vocal Quality: 7/10

Personal Enjoyment: 4.5/10

5.75/10

15. Melovin – Under The Ladder (Ukraine 2018)

Under The Ladder came 18th in 2018 contest, a contest not regarded all that highly in terms of song quality – but to the song’s credit, it was running first. Since it’s not as beloved in the community as some other Ukrainian entries, several people consider it underrated.

I disagree. I think it was rated just fine.

And it’s not that I dislike it or something. Under The Ladder is a fine song, but as far as I’m concerned -that’s all it is. The melody is just too safe to accomplish more. Production here is a prime example of Ukrainian quality. We have solid beat, very much solid vocals by Melovin and ridiculously rich staging – vampire costume, a coffin with a lever that is also a piano, burning stairs… guys, you really spend too much money on this. Creativity was also put into poetic lyrics, but the lyrics don’t influence my score if it’s between 1 and 9, because, frankly, I don’t consider them all that important. However, if you’re a fan of Under The Ladder, I encourage you to check and figure them out.

Technical quality: 6/10

Vocal Quality: 7/10

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10

6/10

14. Gaitana – Be My Guest (Ukraine 2012)

This song was made to promote EURO 2012.

That’s not a detriment nor an advantage, it’s just a trait. Nobody said it outloud, but Gaitana was serving as “Official Friend of EURO 2012” and the song has all compositional patterns of football song – trumpet fanfares, simple dance routine designed for the crowd, several samba and generally Brazilian inspirations, atypical vocal… All that’s missing are arbiter whistles. Not to mention lyrics going all “welcome, be my guest”, with Ukraine of course being one of the hosts of this football event.

Football songs are well-known for being cheesy as heck, and this one is no exception. Colourful feathers, humanoid 3D models, chanting, crowing and Gaitana shouting that she loves you – this is the full package that you can take or leave, depending on your preference. I take it. It decides to be more bombastic than corny, and that’s the choice I applaud – corniness gets old for me easily. And I really appreciate how Gaitana clearly put all her heart into the song, trying as hard as she can as lyricist, composer and performer alike. On this stage, she’s going to bring party for everybody – pun intended.

Unfortunately for Ukraine, European audience wasn’t up for that party. Ukraine came 15th, receiving almost only bloc votes. Split results revealed that it was the televote which tanked their result, with Ukraine coming 20th there, while juries granted it 7th place. Allegedly Ukrainian reaction to that result was… not very kind to the singer. And she already had to deal with some racist remarks ever since she won Vidbir.

Poor Gaitana. For what it’s worth, I had fun with your song, I definitely prefer it over what my country put out for Euro. Thanks for treating me.

Technical Quality: 6.25/10

Vocal Quality: 7/10

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10

6.25/10

13. Tina Karol – Show Me Your Love (Ukraine 2006)

If you know just one Ukrainian artist, it’s likely to be Tina Karol. Thanks to her role as a coach in The Voice of Ukraine, this charismatic pop-diva got some international recognition, but likely no one loves her as much as Ukrainians. Her 2006 Eurovision entry is also beloved – and rightfully so, because it’s an impressive technical achievement.

Show Me Your Love is your typical Slavic folk-pop dance song, a genre that flourished in 2000s. It’s also a naughty love song, complete with questionable lyrics (“love when you cross the line”?) and a trombone. Unfortunately, I don’t like either of these genres, so this song doesn’t do much for me – which is why it’s where it is on this ranking. But even I have to admit that this is a well-produced, well-composed song that has that special something necessary to win people’s hearts.

Moreover, it has Tina Karol’s vocals, which are in a whole different league from anyone we’ve seen on this list so far. They aren’t just good – they are a fruit of a gifted individual carefully and consequently polishing their skills for years. Remember how I complained that folk accents in Mika Newton’s vocals were out of place? Well, here’s Tina Karol effortlessly melding them with the flow of her thunderous, excited performance. And doing a show-off double note that is long, loud and ethnic at the same time. And doing some high-pitched impish squees. And she’s doing all this while dancing.

And if all that wasn’t enough, this time Ukrainians brought a jumprope on the stage.

So yeah, while not my cup of tea, this is an astonishing musical performance. It was a message to Europe that Ukraine is on Eurovision to stay, and that it found its path to Eurovision glory. Continuous popularity of Show Me Your Love among fans of the contest proves that the message was received and embraced.

Technical Quality: 7.25/10

Vocal Quality: 8/10

Personal Enjoyment: 6.25/10

6.5/10

12. Ani Lorak – Shady Lady (Ukraine 2008)

Look, I’m not saying that Shady Lady is bad, it’s just not as great as people make it to be…

…and it really has quite a reputation. Not only is it a member of “this runner-up totally should have won that year” club, but a continuous guest on various Eurovision favourites’ lists and a song consistently voted into ESC250. And this continues to amaze me, because it likely means people listen to this song repeatedly. For me, three listens in a row would likely be enough to get sick of it.

Ukraine is known of their musical quality, but Shady Lady has quality of a different kind – the star quality. The composer of this song, Russian musician Philipp Kirkorov, is a figure as important to Eurovision world as he is controversial, having been accused of sexism, vote rigging and helping Vladimir Putin’s regime. He might be the only composer of Ukrainian entry that currently is legally prohibited to enter Ukraine. But what’s relevant for this article is his immense Eurovision portfolio – besides his own performance representing Russia in 1995, Kirkorov composed 2014’s Russian entry Shine, some divisive Moldovan entries (My Lucky Day, Prison, Sugar) and two highly successful Sergei Lazarev songs – You Are The Only One and Scream. His co-composer, Dimitris Kontopoulos, can present even larger list of credits, like Greece’s This Is Our Night, Last Dance and Azerbaijan’s Hold Me. However, perhaps the most important credit of theirs to mention here is 2007 Belarusian entry Work Your Magic, nowadays the cult classic. Considering the sheer number of credits this song shares with Shady Lady, Ani Lorak’s entry was clearly aimed at replicating its success – and to its credit, it even surpassed it.

Besides the composers, what’s the common denominator of all the entries I just namedropped? They are all very well produced and have faithful fans. However – and this is going to be one heck of unpopular opinion – they all feel manufactured. Manufactured with care and dedication, but manufactured nonetheless. There are better and worse among them, but at the end of the day they’re all just pop songs with a rather standard rhythm, tempo and composition patterns. While pleasant on two, three, or in case of Sergei’s entries even thirty listens, they all lack the inner soul, that quality music has to itself that an algorithm can’t capture. Because of that, they feel kinda shallow, and eventually start getting tiresome. That’s my basic problem with them, including Shady Lady.

Now that I made sure you’re about to chop off my head, let’s mention some positives, shall we? The staging is rather smart and effective, especially the lighting, I like the climactic beeps, and Ani Lorak’s vocals are decent – but unfortunately slightly off-key. I’m going to blame it on 2000s ESC production, as this was surprisingly common issue at the time. Oh, wait, I was supposed to be positive – you know what, let’s just move to the next entry, this lady is waaay too shady for my liking.

Technical Quality: 7.5/10

Vocal Quality: 6.75/10

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10

6.75/10

11. Kalush Orchestra – Stefania (Ukraine 2022)

I feel a bit bad about this year’s winner and the reason this article exists in the first place ending up outside the top 10, but it can’t be helped. Ukraine is just so strong of a competitor that they have 10 songs better than Stefania. Wrap your head around that.

After Go_A success, Ukrainian music market was clearly determined to follow on it, as pretty much all major competitors of Vidbir 2022 were hybrids of folk music with “modern” music genres. In case of Stefania, it’s hip-hop. And… ok, what can I tell about this song that wasn’t said over the last few months? Ukrainian quality is truly here – we have a simple, but not overly simplistic composition armed with really strong production, the staging that somehow is both grotesque and effective at once and Ihor Didenchuk’s consistently good white voice vocals. There’s also Oleh Psiuk’s rapping, which I have harder time to judge due to little experience with this art form, but they have a rhythmic flow, energy and grab attention, so I’d risk calling it good as well. It comes just shy of my personal milestone for 7, but make no mistake – this is a remarkable song. I’m glad it won.

Technical Quality: 6.75/10

Vocal Quality: 7/10

Personal Enjoyment: 6.75/10

6.75/10

10. Go_A – Solovey (Ukraine 2020)

As editors of voteforthemusic, we estimate that this song would’ve come around 7th place in 2020 contest, had it happened.

Go_A really is a strong band. You know just as well as me that this isn’t even their final appearance on this list, and their other singles – at least the ones I listened to – present just as high level as Solovey. One would think combining EDM with eastern folk is a difficult task, yet those musicians nail it time after time. Talk about Ukrainian quality!

I’m not going to claim that Go_A revolutionized the modern music – not only do they lack the reach to do so, but also such experiments with combining traditional and modern music genres were happening in Eastern Europe for quite a while; you’ll even see one of those later on this list. However, they did – together with the likes of Dadi og Gagnamagnid – push the boundaries of what we imagine as possible at Eurovision. Would the risks such as this year’s Fulenn or In Corpore Sano have been taken if not for Go_A’s success paving the way for them?

But let’s talk about Solovey, because there is what to talk about. My usual problem with Slavic folk is its style of production – or rather lack thereof, instead taking pride of raw (“natural”), dissonant cacophony made by simple instruments and untrained white voices. Go_A wisely dropped this aspect of the genre in favour of electronic track, carefully engineered to emulate the same “tribal” feeling in more accessible and modern attire. Not everything can be reproduced though, which is why a drumbeat and Ihor Didenchuk’s flute were incorporated into it. By this point, this flute became iconic in itself, having provided a whole new mystic dimension to three different Ukrainian entries. It could (not under Eurovision rules, but as far as music making goes) easily stand in for the vocals – however Solovey doesn’t take this excuse. Meet Kateryna Pavlenko, a singer gifted with atypical voice that was basically destined for folk music. She spent years studying the genre, eventually achieving absolute mastery in it… which you won’t hear in this song, because it’s too vocally simple for that. Sorry to disappoint you, guys, all you’re going to get here is FLAWLESS, PASSIONATE WHITE VOICE PERFORMANCE THAT MOST OF US CAN’T EVER HOPE TO MATCH THE LEVEL OF, and beyond the majority of folk singers. I know, pathetic.

Jokes aside, Kateryna is an exceptional vocalist and that’s not the last time I’d say it; her back singers also do a great job. Uncharacteristically for Ukraine, the staging is relatively simple – beyond the band and back singers, it’s just black and red costumes, alongside some mysterious symbols on the LED screen. It’s likely that for the actual contest it’d get far richer, but I want to point out that this frugal staging actually works quite well, as all its elements are cleverly used to increase the impression left by the song. Sometimes less is more.

Technical Quality: 7/10

Vocal Quality: 7.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10

7/10

9.

…scratch that.

8 (tie). GreenJolly – Razom Nas Bahato (Ukraine 2005)

This is one of the most underrated entries outside of Ukraine.

Razom Nas Bahato is one of Eurovision entries with great historical significance, as – similarly to how Stefania became unofficial Ukrainian anthem for current war – this song is identified with Orange Revolution. The similarities with this year’s entry don’t end there – composition wise, Razom Nas Bahato is basically Stefania, but better.

This song is also hip-hop enriched with folk sounds, but where Stefania plays it safe, GreenJolly isn’t afraid to strike a harder beat. This ain’t a gift of gratitude for a mother – this is a manifesto that wants to be heard. This a good place to mention the staging, which does insanely good job telling the audience what the song is about – when you see men in chains, broken by the end, and lead singer wearing a t-shirt with a face which, for better or worse, is identified with rebellion, you no longer ask what are these men shouting about, you just want to get more context – which is where other media can help. This, dear readers, is an example how a song can get the message across even without the lyrics.

The folk-influenced melody is, admittedly, challenging; for the listener, cause the unorthodox, slightly dissonant pattern can take some time to get used to or get outright rejected by their ears, but also for the singer. Performing just barely out of tune may spoil the whole song; this, unfortunately, is what happened at 2005 Grand Final. Andriy Pisetskiy’s primary strength seems to be rapping and energizing the crowd, the bigger respect to him for giving mostly OK vocal performance. For the second refrain reprise however, he entered the wrong tonation, creating such a distune that back singers had to adjust their tune as amortisation, and the whole melody went off the rails. I blame the song’s poor performance in the contest on that, perhaps naively.

The song however still remains a volcano of energy and inner strength that Stefania was lacking for me. I find it just as deserving of 8th place as the song coming next. Thanks for sharing your fighting spirit with Europe, Ukrainians, and also thank you for a nice gesture that was inclusion of the refrain catchphrase in several languages – the first of them being my native Polish. We love you too, pals!

Technical Quality: 7.5/10

Vocal Quality: 5.75/10

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10

7.25/10

8 (tie). Ruslana – Wild Dances (Ukraine 2004)

The first Ukrainian win is the very interesting one to analyze, as it has so many sides to it. It earned its performer a seat in Ukrainian parliament (!), undoubtedly inspired all Ukrainian entries that came after it, created both style and status of Ukraine at Eurovision, and perfectly embodies the era it came from – the 2000s. But when I hear Wild Dances, my first thought goes in the very different direction. See, in a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero…

Wild Dances is a theme song. Not in a sense that it’s associated with any show, but because it’s a song that has a theme and follows it. Similarly to a certain track from fantasy show I just referenced, this song draws inspiration from the Eastern European folk music to emulate the vibe of the Early Days; the time after humanity left their caves, but before the first empires and their cultural achievements. In spite of how little of this period is recorded by modern history, we seem to have some basic imagining of what it was like – primitive, yet fulfilling, wild, yet tempting, dangerous, yet adventurous. Wild Dances has all of it. The beat, the melody, and most of all Ruslana’s energetic performance all do their best to reflect that one specific feeling and they succeed. This song is best at what it’s doing, and how much you appreciate what it’s doing will decide how you feel about it.

I, for example, don’t feel about it all that strong.

It is definitely a good song, an important song, but I guess tribal festivities are not my cup of tea and so it never will be anything more to me. That’s the downside of making theme song – it can only be as powerful as its theme. But this is all say against Wild Dances. It’s honestly impressive how much this performance was able to accomplish. My special recognition go to Ruslana for pulling off incredibly hard alto vocals while dancing and to choreography crew for creating and realizing one of the most well-thought out dance routines in the history of the contest. And I haven’t even mentioned the costumes… Really, this song is the gift that keeps on giving.

Technical Quality: 7.5/10

Vocal Quality: 7.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10

7.25/10

7. Mariya Yaremchuk – Tick-Tock (Ukraine 2014)

Behold the biggest casualty of my rule regarding which performance I analyze for this list. If I used music video for Tick-Tock instead, this song would end up at 5th place.

Some wise person in YouTube comment section summed up Tick-Tock a bit like this: this song is so silly yet I can’t stop listening to it. And this really says it all. This song is unapologetically cheesy; it’s called Tick-Tock, it has whistling as a hook, it has a man running in ha- no, not yet, we’ll address that in a moment. But you get the point, it’s not afraid of being light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek. Make no mistake though, this is incredibly well-constructed song that knows exactly what to do to stick in your mind.

First of all – production. Production of this song is on the level of industry’s big names, using both thunderous beat and more quiet moments as needed with tailor’s precision. No less impressive is the vivid rhythm, which is complex, yet so captivating that you want to clap along to it even if you can’t do it accurately. Melody plays the second fiddle to those two, strengthening and extrapolating the effects they are going for, but it also deserves credit in its own right for how saturated it is in sound. In the time where “cold”, more minimalistic approach to composition grew in popularity, composers and producers weren’t afraid to go against the trend and choose what served their art the most – but they didn’t go experimental or niche, this is still a pop song with modern feel. A dangerous balance, yet this crew of artist nailed it, giving us one of deservingly most iconic Ukrainian entries.

So why the 7th place?

First, we’ve got some very weird and, in my opinion, misguided choice in regards to lyrics placement. While my concern with lyrics’ content is minimal when I’m judging the song, their implementation into the track affects the composition’s overall flow. The part in Tick-Tock‘s lyrics consists of either three or six lines, depending on how you count. Departure from most popular four and eight line formats is not a flaw in itself, however the lyrics should be paced in a way that doesn’t leave a feeling the part lacks something. Meanwhile, Tick-Tock in quick succession drops the first two (four) lines, hook reprise and final (two) line(s), which start a build-up to the refrain, and then leaves purely instrumental window lasting almost ten seconds to finish the job. Why? This fragment begs and weeps for either a standout sample to be showcased in this time or another line to fill it, or at least to wrap it up, showing that this is integrated with the part. Instead, it feels like someone forgot what was supposed to be played there and they just improvise until the refrain. Interestingly, there actually is another line in the official lyrics on eurovision.tv that should be sung somewhere in this gap – I can’t hear it in neither Grand Final performance or music video. Perhaps the back singers perform it very quietly…

But the main issue with Grand Final performance are vocals. Unfortunately, Mariya Yaremchuk succumbed to the stress, making her voice stifled and surpressed. It has fearful colour to itself (clashing with jokey tone of the song), at times it even shakes, going slightly off-tune. The unlucky side effect of this is breaking the immersion; Tick-Tock is technically impressive, but delicate. Malfunction of element as important as vocals spoils the carefully crafted image, revealing the cogs behind to the listeners; due to this, some of them may no longer be able to see this song as artistic experience, instead perceiving it as manufactured product. That’s what happens to me when I listen to that performance, at least.

Now, some of you might have listened to it yourself and not noticed what I was talking about whatsoever. Some of you might listen to it now and still not find that. This is because Mariya is not a bad singer or even an average singer; she is a professional who had a bad day, and to her credit, she was given a challenging, thankless task of opening the final. Her vocals are still very solid, fluent and have some impressive points, especially in the latter half, as by then Mariya got more confident and improved her performance. What makes any performance of Tick-Tock far superior to something like Hasta La Vista is that the issues I described above are not apparent; to notice this kind of vocal mistakes, one needs to have developed musical hearing and possibly have some experience in working with music. You know, like professional jury. Which voted this song only twelfth best out twenty six and awarded it over 30 points less than televote. I wonder why.

Now, in spite of this, I take my hat off to Mariya for writing, composing and performing such an impressive song. Now that we’re in top 10, every misstep matters, but Ukraine still can and should be proud of this one. It deserves to be remembered beyond just… sigh. Okay, let’s talk about elephant in the room.

This is a song with the man in a hamster wheel.

While the staging has limited impact on my scoring, it’s absurd to talk about Tick-Tock without mentioning what is and will be its biggest legacy. This wheel got memed to death: it was in Love Love Peace Peace, it was in The Story of Fire Saga, it was in likely every guide to Eurovision that has been released since. Did Olena Koliadenko (stage director for Ukraine 2014) expect this? Probably, it’d be hard no to. Why did she put the hamster wheel on stage then? I wondered about this for a long time, only recently I realized that the wheel likely was meant to be a metaphor for the running clock, and Mariya’s unorthodox dance routine was alluding to its pointers. Except the wheel goes in both directions during the performance, while the clock moves only forward… Well, I’ve seen clearer symbolism than this, but I’m not sure if I had seen more outstanding and audaciously attention-grabbing one.

Which is really funny when you consider that Mariya and her team aimed for “soulful and simple” stage performance, according to eurovision.tv.

Was that hamster wheel a good idea? That’s for you individually to decide, but one thing is certain; this was the point of no return. I’ve seen Eurovision fans being upset with people not taking this contest seriously. While it’s true that Eurovision is more than entertainment, that its producers, organisers and participants put genuine effort, that it can make and break musical careers – it’s not fair to expect people to take it 100% seriously. It simply can’t be.

Cause this is a contest where you can have the man in a hamster wheel on stage.

Never forget that.

Technical Quality: 7.75/10

Vocal Quality: 6.75/10

Personal Enjoyment: 7.5/10

7.5/10

6. Zlata Ognevich – Gravity (Ukraine 2013)

…I honestly can’t compute how they managed to put so much beauty into three minute song.

Gravity is a multisensual spectacle loaded with diverse content which somehow all fits inside. It’s Scandinavian saga and Hawaiian warm call, fairy tale ballad and modern power anthem all at once. How? Mikhail Nekrasov proved himself to be a gifted composer before with Show Me Your Love, but this is incomparably more complex. Wha- Ho- I’m speechless. All I can say about all the elements of this composition is that they’re great. This sort of magnificence must come at a price – and it did, but first, we need to talk about Zlata Ognevich.

Brought to the stage by late Igor Vovkovinskiy, a giant in many meanings of that word (rest in peace), she probably didn’t even need that unmistakeably Ukrainian stage splendor. Her voice alone would do the trick just fine. What Zlata accomplished on stage are easily the best vocals of any Ukrainian entry we talked about so far; she starts silently and softly, hitting every note. This is a comforting performance, cementing the fairy tale feeling established by the music. Then it gets triumphant and more intense, and chanting choruses show up. And then it turns out that Zlata was just sparing her throat for the best part. In the refrain, she presents the mesmerizing vocal strength and charisma known from the best power ballads, while still not missing a note. However, this change in tone doesn’t negate the one set up prior, just extends the range of the song. How did they pull that off? I have no idea. Zlata Ognevich with her voice is able to channel everything in that range at once and guides the audience through those riches to whatever they enjoy among them most. How did she pull that off? I don’t know either. This is peak human ability, beyond what even experienced stage professionals are capable of, a feat, I dare say, comparable to opera recitals. And if you need more evidence, pretty much every higher note in the refrain and bridge is dragged to show how Zlata’s voice can hit all of them, one by one, without breaking. That’s the gravity of her voice.

If you can’t tell, I really like Gravity. It’s another one of those songs that in other circumstances would make it way higher on this ranking. Gravity‘s held back by one tiny problem.

It can cause a migraine.

As I said, such magnificence must come at a price, and in case of Gravity, that price was a fatal flaw enveloped inside the composition. If a human ear is exposed to intense high notes for extended time, it can damage hearing, so in response to encountering them, brain can produce a warning call in form of headache, shivers or other uncomfortable sensation. Gravity has enough of such high notes to cause this reaction in someone with more sensitive hearing or someone with weakened endurance due to being tired, sick, affected by bad weather, you get the idea. With all my sympathy for this song and all my awe at what the composer managed to achieve here, this is his fault; part of his job as the composer is making sure people can listen to his song without a headache. This is a technical flaw and for that, I have to lower the Technical Quality score of Gravity way below what it would otherwise be. What a pity, because the rest of this song truly is magical.

Technical Quality: 6.75/10

Vocal Quality: 8.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10

7.5/10

5. Svetlana Loboda – Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) (Ukraine 2009)

Remember what I said about Slavic folk-pop dance songs flourishing in the 2000s? Well, here’s another one. And this one demands your attention as hard as it can.

Unlike Tick-Tock, this song benefits from my rule set a lot. For the Grand Final, everyone working on it went extra mile – especially Svetlana herself, who hypothecated her house to fund this weird Mad Max staging… and I still question if it was worth it. (get used to those postapo and industrial punk vibes by the way, they’ll stay with us for pretty much the remainder of this list) But this is just cherry on top of all the work she had to do – aside from performing, she also composed the song. She very clearly built it in a way that compliments her own vocal strengths – regardless what version of Be My Valentine you listen to, Svetlana’s voice is a shiny pearl in its center. But while the studio version can extend its possibilities further with autotune, there’s no such luxury on stage, so Svetlana made some subtle adjustments that would help the song stand out on its own as well. And she succeeded. Louder warped electronic vibe here, different tone of bells there and the song seems to engulf the listener, infecting every part of them with its beat. Which is impressive, because Be My Valentine doesn’t really have that heavy of a beat. What it does have is stage director who used pulsating camera to film the refrain, making it look like the song shakes the screen. This may actually be the reason why I find the song engulfing; if that’s the case, this might be the best stage direction in Eurovision history.

At the same time, Svetlana still tried to do her best with the vocals and I must say, there’s quite a bit to admire here. She goes all around the stage, makes full flips, hangs from the cogs, and her voice doesn’t twitch once. Confident, strong, in-tune vocal for three minutes straight. Ukraine consistently sends great singers to Eurovision, but I’m not sure how many of them could simultaneously pull off flawless vocals and acrobatic stunts. Singing, composing, playing on percussion, gymnastics – Svetlana really is full of talents, doesn’t she?

As I already mentioned, I’m not really into naughty love songs; I didn’t like this one at first either, but in just a few days it won me over. To be honest, I don’t quite understand why; maybe it’s the lack of aggressive bass or higher tonation, but there’s something different about this song. It just seems more… innocently fun. While other songs of this kind are sassy, wild and even ferocious, Be My Valentine focuses on enjoyability, as if it only played “bad girl song” to have some good time and party with its friends. And I appreciate that, or whatever it’s actually doing, since this is just my guess. Ask Alexander Rybak; he named Be My Valentine his only real contender for victory in 2009 and praised it for its artistic energy, so maybe he knows its secret ingredient.

Technical Quality: 7.75/10

Vocal Quality: 7.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 7.5/10

7.75/10

4. Verka Serduchka – Dancing Lasha Tumbai (Ukraine 2007)

Speaking of fun.

What can I write about Dancing Lasha Tumbai that you don’t know already? This song is exactly what seems to be – electronic dance folk pop party song, sung by a drag queen, goofy as it can be, yet FUN with capital letters – also may or may not be secret anti-Russian manifesto. Perhaps you would like me to explain how it ended up as such a timeless classic, a perfect storm with just the right amount of silliness and genuinely good main track.

But I don’t know that. You know what’s my bet though? Luck.

I have a theory that there are two types of music: the one that is made and the one that is discovered. The first one is a result of experts in a field of music combining its various elements in search of sound that will resonate with people. It’s a tricky task requiring hard work, knowledge, precision and a little luck. The final effect can really impress, but due to its complex nature, it’s hard to replicate and easy to break. These kinds of songs usually can’t have a cover diverging in style from the original, because with one element changed, the whole system no longer works. The second type is a composition of elements which fit together so well that it feels like they were meant to be connected. It’s hard to even perceive them as a set and not unified whole. Perhaps they are whole; perhaps these songs already existed and we just found them. These songs are incredibly cover friendly and are guaranteed to be technically good, but they are even harder to compose than the first type, because they are true pieces of art; scientific and pseudoscientific methods aren’t very helpful at finding them.

I believe that Dancing Lasha Tumbai belongs in the subcategory of the second type; it’s a fundamental song. Whether our nature as human beings is biological, metaphysical or both, fundamental songs are so engraved in it that we can’t help but vibe with them immediately. Only a handful of those were discovered over the years: In The Hall of a Mountain King, We Will Rock You, Take On Me, Macarena… They may one day be a key to answer most existential questions, but for now, they are really great, timeless pieces of music.

Verka Serduchka was lucky enough to find one of those special tracks: THE party song. She added to it her flamboyant personality, absolute madness on stage, nonsensical (?) lyrics and solid production, and then took this package to Ukrainian Selections and Eurovision. Is this package great? Yes. Is it timeless? Yes. Is Verka iconic? Yes.

But is this the full potential of the track that became known as Dancing Lasha Tumbai? In my opinion, no.

Look where the other fundamental songs are. Dancing Lasha Tumbai may be Eurovision classic, but it doesn’t have nearly as much legacy as them; it didn’t even win the contest. Even the most natural, fundamental, greatest song still needs a lot of effort to become the best version of itself; it needs the right mix, the right singer, sometimes even the right place and time. With respect to Verka and the work she put into her classic performance, the result is only great and fun. This song makes one feel like they know it for ages after first listen – it can go beyond great and fun. How? Well, whoever answers that question will join the pantheon of music legends, however titans like Go_A have already tried and failed to do so. Are you up to the challenge?

(Oh, and in case you wonder – the low Vocal Quality score comes from the fact that Dancing Lasha Tumbai isn’t particularly hard vocally. Even so, Verka proved herself to be solid singer both with and beyond this song, and all her performances hold undeniable stage energy.)

Technical Quality: 8/10

Vocal Quality: 6.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10

8/10

3. Alyosha – Sweet People (Ukraine 2010)

Remember that time when Ukraine did Earth Song?

Olena Kucher, better known as Alyosha, won National Selection with a different song, but after accusations of plagiarism, she decided to write a new one for the contest – this one. I don’t envy the task of writing the song for an international competition under time constraints. The more power to Alyosha for not just managing that, but somehow producing one of the most powerful entries of all time!

Sweet People is a rock power anthem, a genre that you either do right or not at all. While it still needs a good composition, usually comprised of strong expressive guitar riffs, it’s simply incomplete without the right singer. It’s them who fill the song with substance and tell its message, with music serving just as accompaniment; if they fail, the whole song becomes a hollow whimper or worse, a joke. A pressure on the artist is thus immense, and the task at their hand insanely challenging, as master voice control, the sheer vocal force and advanced emotional expressiveness are all simultaneously required to make this kind of song work. Alyosha couldn’t even rely on help from staging, as after events of previous year Ukrainian delegation scaled down their expenses and provided her only with heels of the height comparable to Tower of London. No mere human can dream of accomplishing this.

Fortunately, Olena Kucher is no mere human.

All of the above is provided with added bonus of some folk accents. Yeah, now she juggles three genres. And you better believe there’s not a single vocal mistake to be found. Well, maybe a few slightly oversteered notes (which could have been a creative choice) and maybe it’s just slightly softer than one would expect from an anthem like that. Or maybe I’m a nitpicky know-it-all that should shut up. I can name just a few vocalists that could do the power ballad better, and it’s disputable whether they were even human beings. Still, I don’t feel safe in calling these vocals perfect, so this score will have to do. Feel free to disagree.

I’m not sure what more I can say about Sweet People – just go give it a listen if you haven’t. It will shake you to the core, as every ounce of Alyosha’s voice expresses fear, despair and cold frustration. Every guitar riff will sound inside you. And if after all this you’ll feel that you want to understand more – give lyrics a read, for once they’re really worth it, it’s a moving appeal that only became more relevant over time. This is a respected, but heavily underrated entry from no less underrated contest, hopefully their legacy lives on.

Technical Quality: 8/10

Vocal Quality: 8.5/10

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10

8/10

2. Go_A – Shum (Ukraine 2021)

In 2021, Go_A has outdone itself, any reasonable expectations one could have for their second entry and several music conventions. And I’m not saying that just because Shum‘s fandom can get pretty nasty when someone doesn’t like it!

All jokes aside, my first impression of Shum was pretty bad, to the point that I actually use the words “we’ve found the utter trash”. This song is a lot to take in: Slavic folk (which, again, I’m not a fan of), grim techno and Ihor Didenchuk’s iconic flute, combined into rather unorthodox mixture. I didn’t understand what is going on; why Go_A even considered this a finished, workable song in the first place.

A couple of days and a certain promotional video from Eurovision YouTube channel helped me figure it out.

In this video, we got an overview of Go_A’s trip to several locations in Ukraine, most importantly Chernobyl nuclear power plant. The band members explained that this place was a major inspiration on their music. This was exactly the piece I needed to solve the puzzle. Shum isn’t just folk mixed with techno, it’s folk for the age of fallout. This is what the remainders of humanity in contamined world would dance to on exotic rave parties held in the wild to maintain the community… The tribe, if you prefer to call it so. Postapocalyptic Wild Dances. Yup, it’s yet another theme song, but with far more complex theme, which works to its advantage, as this makes Shum more unique. Even I, neither a fan of ethnic Slavic vibes or postapo, have found it intriguing.

But what I believe ultimately won me over in Shum is the symbiosis between the industrial rhythm and the mystically sounding flute parts. The beat, intense and well-produced, seems to shoot out energy itself, making it already a great song basis. Ihor Didenchuk builds up from this basis, creating mysterious, seductive and a bit spooky solos that feel like natural extension of the beat, despite coming from different music style. Just those two alone would make for a great TV or game soundtrack.

And then there’s Kateryna Pavlenko, this time going all-out (…or does she?). Result? An experience – hard to describe it otherwise. These are, from technical standpoint, perfect vocals – keep in mind that Slavic folk operates on slightly different vocal rules than pop genres. Kateryna has the precision, the force and the commanding energy, all at top level. This historical craft display is something to admire even if you don’t like the song.

And it’s fine to not like Shum, I can’t stress that enough. General subjectivity of art aside, this is experimental music, it wasn’t made to appeal to every sensitivity. It ended up working for me, it doesn’t have to end up working for you AND THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU STUPID, MENTALLY UNDERDEVELOPED OR UNCIVILIZED. You might find it weird that I hammer this down so much, but I was horrified by response people critical of Shum were getting, so I feel the need to speak up against it. There’s no excuse for this toxic behaviour and I’m sure that Go_A themselves don’t want any part of it either.

This actually connects with my one criticism of this song – it struggles at communication. The theme is the key to enjoying this song, and it can completely pass one by. Ok, maybe I didn’t need to watch Go_A’s travel vlog, the music video lays it down pretty well, but we’re judging Grand Final performance here. And as interesting as the staging is with its spacesuits, TRON disks and grain, it only raises viewer’s confusion. Not that the song should rely on it! While I definitely think Shum is a great song, it fell one or two steps short of what Go_A tried to make it – high art. A song that could tell a story, pass the message, the feelings with just its tune. Shum has a story, but this story still needs external translation from visuals or lyrics.

There is an Ukrainian song which doesn’t have this problem though.

Technical Quality: 8/10

Vocal Quality: 9/10

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10

8/10

1. Jamala – 1944 (Ukraine 2016)

Duh.

Okay, some of you may have expected Shum to be first, but I don’t think my pick is controversial or surprising. The compromise winner of 2016 contest that has only grown in popularity and relevance since then is widely considered Ukrainian peak achievement at Eurovision, and I can only agree. Despite all that, it is also true that this isn’t universally loved entry, and it definitely isn’t a song for everyone. Blatantly political entry in the contest trying to escape the “political” label, and on top of that a song deeply rooted in not just Slavic, but Crimean Tatar folk – so a niche of a niche. Obviously its appeal can only be so big.

I do, however, stand by what I said prior – 1944 is a song that has no trouble with getting its message across. It doesn’t have to please everyone to do so.

Its secret weapon is Jamala, possibly the greatest singer Ukraine ever considered sending to Eurovision, and as far as I’m concerned, the one that performed the best on Eurovision stage. Calling her vocals “flawless” or “perfect” doesn’t do her work justice; her voice overflows with emotions straight from the heart, which in turn summoned them from the past, present and future of her bloodline. This takes Jamala’s voice, already polished to perfection, onto a whole new level that is off the charts. Not off my chart though, as this is exactly what the 10 score in my scale is predicted for. If you found my scores so far harsh or low – try to see my scale as a scale of 9. 9 already means perfect in my book, while 10 is going, against common logic, a few steps beyond.

Those emotions spread beyond visuals, beyond words, even beyond consciousness, and so they will reach the listener. Case in point – when I first listened to 1944, I misheard the lyrics and thought that this is some sort of ethnic dance song. However, when Jamala made her cry of sorrow in the refrain reprise, it still moved me. This, I briefly thought, is a sound of dread; it can’t be a dance song, it’s something deeper. But then it fell to the back of my mind, until I eventually learned that the song is named after a year from the middle of WW2 and subsequently realized what the song is about. This ignorance of mine was no obstacle to 1944 – it still shared the feelings it wanted to, its message has taken root at the back of my head and vegetated, with no need of me being aware of this. That’s the true power of music.

You probably wonder how could I think that lamentation on fate of Crimean Tatars is any sort of party music. Some of you may even question if that isn’t a strong point against this song – a flaw in its storytelling. But that’s the thing – no, it isn’t, cause that’s not the whole story. 1944 is more than an eulogy – there’s another side to it. The composition takes a lot from traditional grieving anthems of Eastern Europe, but combines it with production patterns of modern pop. The stifled noises in the background, sounding like a gathering storm, were popular element at the time; they’re to be found in Tick-Tock, in many 2016 entries, and this song doesn’t shy away from them either. The intense modern beat remains present throughout the whole time but the bridge. And the bridge – Jamala’s melodic yell – isn’t just the yell of pain. It’s a call, call into action, but also a call into being, not unlike the ones some cultures have used to greet the rising sun. The tree grows behind Jamala’s back, as the new life arises from the suffering of old. We could build a future where people are free to live and love the happiest time, our time, says the second part of the lyrics. The message of 1944, against all expectations, is the one of hope. While paying tribute to the victims of forgotten atrocities, the protagonist refuses to be overwhelmed by grief; they tell us to take away our lessons from it, act and work hard to make the world where this never happens again.

And these are the best words of wisdom to end this ranking. Jamala didn’t know how relevant this song will be in 2022, neither did most of us. But the fact that this tragedy is happening again cannot be something stopping us from action. Don’t let the pain, the shame, or these international bandits swallow your soul. Let’s mourn the victims – and then let’s make sure there aren’t more. Do everything in your power to help save the lives of Ukrainian people, and help make the better world so these deaths won’t be in vain.

Slava Ukraini.

Technical Quality: 9/10

Vocal Quality: 10/10

Personal Enjoyment: 9/10

9/10