Following Tuesday’s first Semi Final, let’s dive into everything you need to know before diving into today’s live extravaganza!
About the Show
The show will last approximately 2 hours, and will be largely made up of 18 performances. Unlike the Grand Final, there will not be an hours’ worth of voting, simply instead, a 5-10 minute announcement of the 10 qualifiers.
The show will be hosted by Mika, a British singer best known for his 2007 hit, Grace Kelly; Laura Pausini, a legendary Italian singer, who rose to fame through the Sanremo Music Festival in 1993, and Alessandro Cattelan, a popular television host in Italy. Italy are, of course, hosting the show, because they won in 2021, with Måneskin’s Zitti e Buoni in Rotterdam.
The show will be broadcasted on both YouTube and TikTok, live, at 9pm (CET), as well as on television in all the participating countries, and beyond. If you are not sure which channel is broadcasting the Eurovision Song Contest in your country, you can see here.
Opening Act
As the Eurovision Song Contest is the biggest television event in the world, the show doesn’t just begin, as instead, an element of theatre is required in beginning the show. In previous years this has included orchestras, circus acts, choirs, remixes and much more.
The opening act of tonight’s show is called The Italian Way and Alessandro Cattelan performing a comedy skit backstage, he prepares for the show, in the Italian Way, which is essentially through comical improvisation. It perhaps unwisely plays up to Italian stereotypes, but we’ll see just how well it’s executed tonight.
Song 1 – Finland
Ever since Lordi won Eurovision in 2006, Finland have consistently entered a lot of rock entries over the past 15 years, the most recent being Dark Side in 2021, and after Måneskin’s win in 2021, this year is no exception. 20 years removed from their worldwide hit In the Shadows, The Rasmus are Finland’s entry for Turin. Unfortunately for them, legacy artists, from yesteryear, have a pretty poor track record at Eurovision, usually owing to high expectations from the casual audience and a less than average song. Jezebel certainly hits the second point, sadly, as the song really isn’t that strong at all, and it’s even weaker when compared to In the Shadows, which many members of the casual audience will be comparing it to.
The staging isn’t too strong either, with The Rasmus heavily relying on their stage presence, but it’s a stage presence that feels 20 years too old, especially when Lauri (the lead singer) removes his shirt, which isn’t particularly appealing to anyone. If it qualifies, it’ll be down to The Rasmus’ fanbase.
Best lyric: “Your final kiss is to leave a scar“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 2 – Israel
In the years building up to Israel’s 2018 win with Toy, they were on a roll, but since then they seem to have slowed down, and sadly Michael Ben David’s I.M. seems to be another indication of post-win fatigue from Israel. It’s a horrendously generic ethnic dance song about Michael just being who he is. The staging is top notch, however, and does really suit the song, but the song is the problem, as it’s just not that good.
Best lyric: “Twenty twenty-two, let’s seal the deal“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 3 – Serbia
What is the secret behind Meghan Markle’s healthy hair? That’s the question that Konstrakta from Serbia poses at the beginning of her song. The song might be just the oddest one you’ve seen at Eurovision this year, but it’s strangely captivating from start to finish. From the strange hand washing on stage, to the arena-unifying clapping in the chorus, to the onscreen subtitled English lyrics interspersed throughout. This is a potential dark horse for a very good placing.
Best lyric: “Koja li je tajna zdrave kose Meghan Markle?“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 4 – Azerbaijan
Azerbaijan’s entry this year is a big ballad with an intricate staircase based stage design. Nadir has a great voice, with a lot of power, but the song does run the risk of boring viewers, with not much special or memorable in the song, itself.
While the song might do fairly well with the jury, there is a lot of doubt about whether it can achieve the same with the televoters.
Best lyric: “You always go and blame the weather“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 5 – Georgia
Georgia have entered a group called Circus Mircus, an anonymous group of failed circus performers, with their quirky little number, Lock Me In. The song is a lot of fun, while not necessarily critically the best. Like Moldova, on Tuesday night, it is quite classically Eurovision, as the general public see it. The staging, doesn’t quite live up to the video, but we think it could still appeal to the average televoter.
Best lyric: “Make it ’til I break, and I never could take it“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 6 – Malta
Malta’s Emma Muscat has been controversial for the past few months, after originally winning the Malta Eurovision Song Contest with her song Out of Sight, she inclined to change her song, without any public backing, to I Am What I Am.
While her original entry wasn’t that interesting, I Am What I Am takes just about every trope about what people think a Eurovision song is, and rolls with it. The result is mediocrity to an almost offensive level. The best way to describe I Am What I Am is the sort of song that would come last place… in Junior Eurovision.
Additionally, Emma’s normally powerful vocals, seemed to suffer during her performance in the Jury final, last night, harming her qualification chances even more so.
Best lyric: “This is my master plan“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 7 – San Marino
After a short break, where we are brought up to speed on the Sanremo Music Festival we go to San Marino. Speaking of Sanremo, which serves as Italy’s de-facto national selection, Achille Lauro participated in it this year, and came 14th, before just a few weeks later, he participated in San Marino’s National Selection, winning the ticket to Turin.
The song itself is a Måneskin-like Italian rock song, filled with pop culture references, but in fact Achille Lauro and this style of rock song both came long before Måneskin. Achille has been trying to go to Eurovision for years. The staging takes the saucy homoerotic sexual nature of Måneskin’s Zitti e Buoni staging, and takes it to the next degree, with Achille Lauro dressed scantly clad, and riding a rodeo bull, alongside two large metal cages and pyro. Achille’s performance style is outright sexual, often grating and making sexual noises. The juries might be turned off, but it’s a televoter’s dream. It’s really something that has to be seen to be believed.
Best lyric: “Cowboy, il mio cuore è il suo sex toy“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 8 – Australia
After non-qualifying for the first time ever last year, all the eyes are on Australia and their entry Not The Same this year. Sheldon Riley, who rose to fame through The X Factor, The Voice and America’s Got Talent, is Australia’s representative this year. Well they say if at first you don’t succeed… you should try, try and try again. And trying again is exactly what Sheldon Riley is doing, with his heartfelt power ballad about how he is “not the same” to other people, and how life has been an uphill battle for him. The staging culminates in him taking off a mask, having the confidence to sing without it. It runs the risk of coming across as bit contrived, especially as the song doesn’t have much of a memorable hook, unlike others. It will resonate with the juries, but I’m very unsure about the televoter, especially those unfamiliar with Sheldon’s story.
Best lyric: “So you’re gonna leave the pain and find another way to make yourself another game“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 9 – Cyprus
After a few years of high energy latin dance numbers, Cyprus this year give us Ela a stranger song genre wise as it seems to be neither slow or fast, but also doesn’t fit into the mid-tempo ballad mould. While I don’t personally think the song has much about it, this song has a lot of fans and Andromache is a very charismatic performer.
In last night’s jury final, it is worth noting that reportedly Andromache’s vocals were far poorer than expected and she breathed multiple times in the middle of lines. The staging is also reportedly interesting at first but ultimately quite dull.
Best lyric: “Sta óneirá mou, valé fterá kai péta“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 10 – Ireland
While Ireland (by number of wins) are technically the best Eurovision country, since their last win in 1996, things haven’t exactly gone too well for them. Luckily, Brooke’s That’s Rich, this year, is a definite improvement. While not really a contender for the Top 10, it is likely to earn a spot in the final, especially as the team at RTÉ have done a really good job with the staging this year. It’s a fun little number that is sure to entertain and get everyone in a party mood.
Best lyric: “You were a lazy lover, I moved on to ones that move me“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 11 – North Macedonia
Andrea has had a difficult week and sadly that shows. During the Eurovision opening ceremony, she was asked to put down her North Macedonian flag, she was holding, in order to get a photograph, and she casually tossed it aside. The clip, unfortunately, went viral and got back to MRT (North Macedonia’s broadcaster) who then threatened to withdraw from Eurovision. In North Macedonia such acts, as tossing aside their flag is illegal, and therefore it’s caused nation outrage back home. MRT have confirmed they will stay in the competition, as it’d be financially irresponsible not to, but they have indicated that they may be withdrawing next year and that Andrea herself is likely to face criminal charges when she returns to her country at the weekend. The reason for all this context is that, in the jury show, at least, this showed in Andrea’s performance, as she just looked really traumatised and miserable throughout. Her performance was not as strong as previous performances, and this is likely the cause.
The song itself isn’t too great. It’s about as generic and unmemorable as you can possibly get. Circles currently sits at 40/40 in the odds, so any chances of this qualifying are out of the window, but it’s a shame that even Andrea’s performance is suffering because of the behaviour of MRT, back home.
Best lyric: “I just want a hеalthy conversation“
Qualification Chance: Zero
Song 12 – Estonia
From Estonia this year, Stefan gives us a cowboy inspired country song, which he sings entirely in a pretty poor American accent. The song itself is fine, it’s nothing special, but it’s not particularly bad. Stefan’s stage presence is decently captivating as well, but the staging is just horrendously boring, especially as most of the graphics on the LED screens go unseen, due to the now-famous Rai arches.
Best lyric: “We live to die for worthy things“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 13 – Romania
After a break, WRS from Romania gives us a Latino-style low-key dance song, which is heavily choreographed, but ends up falling a bit flat, mainly due to WRS’ annoying stage persona and the fact the song is far from anything special. It feels like it was made on the cheap and that’s because it probably was. This also suffers from similar problems as Estonia with the graphics not being shown as intended due to the arches covering the LED screen.
Best lyric: “I show it to the world, ’cause I won’t hide it“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 14 – Poland
River was one of the early favourites to win Eurovision, but since its release, it’s gradually fallen off everyone’s radar. It’s a nice enough Arcade-like song, that perhaps isn’t strong enough for the win, but on it’s own, definitely the Top 10… however, the staging, when revealed last week, has quickly become a meme amongst the Eurovision fandom.
For whatever reason, TVP decided to stage River with dozens of on-screen overlayed stock effects of thunder and rain throughout the chorus, alongside very loud sound effects of running water during the first verse. It really just looks laughable watching it, as if someone has just randomly pressed all the FX buttons on TikTok. It seems odd they decided to so heavily fake water, when there’s literally a running waterfall on stage, that they just completely ignore. Additionally, Ochman is joined on stage by a bunch of interpretive dancers in strange black drapes, who just look silly. Arcade worked for it’s simplicity but the staging of River just over engineers the song to the Nth degree, resulting in a laughable performance.
Is the song good enough to get to the final?… yes it is, but will it suffer because of the staging?… almost certainly.
Best lyric: “Let the water carry me away“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 15 – Montenegro
A bit like North Macedonia, Montenegro’s song is about as vanilla as you can possibly get. They weren’t here in 2020 and 2021, so it’s nice to see them back, but I somehow doubt they won’t get their third ever appearance in a Grand Final this year. If you need a toilet break, Montenegro is the one to do it in.
Best lyric: “To act so selfishly is unforgivable“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 16 – Belgium
In 2018, Belgium entered their take on a James Bond theme tune and failed to qualify, this year, they are at it again, but perhaps in fear of non-qualification, they have decided to turn the song into a R&B number half way through. It’s a bit of an odd-switch but it does it with skill, and the singer, Jérémie Makiese, does pull it off… however, as a song, I still think it falls below what is needed to make it to the Grand Final.
Best lyric: “And out of thе blue I answer your call“
Qualification Chance: Possible
Song 17 – Sweden
Cornelia Jakobs from Sweden is perhaps the highlight of the evening and a true contender to win Eurovision this year. Hold Me Closer is a heart wrenching ballad, with so many gorgeously poetic lyrics, it’ll be hard to choose a favourite. The performance is just breathtaking, from start to finish, and you’re just gonna want to watch this one. It’s absolutely beautiful.
There have been some technical issues during rehearsals, and that did continue into the Jury final, last night, but mostly it was okay. The best of luck to Cornelia!
Best lyric: “But most of alI I wish that I could love you less“
Qualification Chance: Certain
Song 18 – Czech Republic
Finally, the Czech Republic give us a techno-based banger to end the night off with. Don’t let the title of this song, Lights Off, fool you as every single light in the arena is on during this, giving the biggest light show of the year. It’s a lot of fun and a fairly solid song.
Best lyric: “Changing my furniture, change my bed covers“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Interval Acts
After the voting lines open, whereby the 18 participating countries can vote, alongside the UK, Spain and Germany, tonight (but not for themselves), as is Eurovision tradition we go onto the interval acts.
Following the recap, we go into the first interval act, which is a duet between hosts, Laura Pausini and Mika, as they perform renditions of Sting’s Fragile and Patti Smith’s People Have The Power.
Another recap follows, before Il Volo arrive on stage (Italy’s 2015 entry), who perform Grande Amore, the song which gave them 3rd place in Vienna. This rendition is odd for two reasons… firstly, they sing part of the song in English, which sounds very out of place, and the second is that one member of the group has tested positive for COVID-19 and therefore isn’t present, but instead appears via Zoom. Sadly because of the aforementioned arches, the singer has to be place off to the side (a bit like Jacques Houdek in 2017) and it ends up looking just a tiny bit comical.
We then get another Eurovision Confidential segment, which this time, focuses around fantasy based joke entries from yesteryear.
The Big 5 Previews
Italy, United Kingdom, Spain, Germany & France form the Big 5, who are the 5 biggest finical contributors to the European Broadcasting Union, the organisation that among a lot of other things, organisers the Eurovision Song Contest. These countries, therefore, do not participate in the Semi Finals and receive automatic qualification to the Grand Final on Saturday.
As such, tonight, three of the five entries will be previewed, alongside an interview with the artists. These three entries will be Spain’s Slomo, the United Kingdom’s Space Man and Germany’s Rockstars. A live performance from the rehearsal will be played for just under a minute.
Qualifiers Announcement
The final part of the show will see 10 of the performers announced as qualifiers to Saturday’s Grand Final. They will be announced in no particular order by the hosts, one by one.
The exact points and voting information will not be revealed to the general public until following the Grand Final’s completion on Saturday, as not to give anything away about how did the best.
