After 12 months, the Eurovision Song Contest returns tonight. Tonight’s show is the first of three live shows, coming from Turin, where the first 17 songs, of this years’ contest, will be performed. Just 10 will make it through to Saturday’s Grand Final.
About the Show
The show will last approximately 2 hours, and will be largely made up of the, aforementioned, 17 performances. Unlike the Grand Final, there will not be an hours’ worth of voting, simply instead, a 5-10 minute announcement of the 10 qualifiers.
The show will be hosted by Mika, a British singer best known for his 2007 hit, Grace Kelly; Laura Pausini, a legendary Italian singer, who rose to fame through the Sanremo Music Festival in 1993, and Alessandro Cattelan, a popular television host in Italy. Italy are, of course, hosting the show, because they won in 2021, with Måneskin’s Zitti e Buoni in Rotterdam.
The show will be broadcasted on both YouTube and TikTok, live, at 9pm (CET), as well as on television in all the participating countries, and beyond. If you are not sure which channel is broadcasting the Eurovision Song Contest in your country, you can see here.
Opening Act
As the Eurovision Song Contest is the biggest television event in the world, the show doesn’t just begin, as instead, an element of theatre is required in beginning the show. In previous years this has included orchestras, circus acts, choirs, remixes and much more, but this year Rai (Italy’s broadcaster, who are organising the contest) have opted to bring back the Eurovision Anthem.
However, first the show will begin with a short video clip, showing the building of a drone, which will go onto guide us through the show. This video clip is here in order to give a few minutes for the commentators in each country to introduce themselves and the show.
Once we are inside the arenas, a rendition of Puccini’s Nessun Dorma will play, before it transitions into Måneskin’s Zitti e Buoni, which then transitions into this year’s Eurovision Anthem.
The Eurovision Anthem was a, seemingly aborted, recurring element of the contest which began in 2013, when SVT asked Avicii an Benny & Bjorn (from ABBA) to write an anthem for the contest, which could open the show. This proved successful and in 2014 it was repeated, with reigning champion Emmelie de Forest performing it in the Grand Final interval, and again in 2015, with reigning champion, Conchita Wurst performing it, in the show’s opening. However, in 2016, despite being hosted by SVT, once more, the Eurovision Anthem was dropped, never to be seen again. UNTIL – 2022, as the first semi-final, tonight, will open with the fourth ever Eurovision Anthem, resurrected after 7 years away, an Italian-disco anthem called The Sound of Beauty, which, incidentally, is the slogan of the 2022 contest.
Following the opening act, our three hosts will arrive on stage and introduce the contest, as well as talk the audience through the voting procedure.
Performances
There will be 17 performances tonight, all of which will be 3 minutes long, with a short postcard playing in between. There are plenty of interesting entries from across Europe to be heard tonight.
Song 1 – Albania
The first song on tonight is Albania’s Sekret, which was selected back in December 2021 on Festivali I Këngës, Albania’s Selection Show. The song is what could be described as an ethnic-bop, with a lot of energy and a lot of movement.
Best lyric: “You know I want it, dámelo“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 2 – Latvia
Citi Zēni’s Eat Your Salad is one of the most controversial performances of this year, and yet so uniquely Eurovision, as in no-other context are you likely to see a bunch of vegans singing a funk song about their sexual conquests. It’s really rather bizarre, but hey, it’s been endorsed by Greta Thunberg.
The studio cut of the song, notably, included the lyric “pussy”, which has been censored for tonight’s show, however, it is expected the audience will shout it out in the gap left.
Best lyric: “Instead of meat I eat veggies and 🙀“
Qualification Chance: Possibly
Song 3 – Lithuania
From Lithuania this year, comes a sensual ballad, called Sentimentai. Although it can be quite captivating in the moment, it does run the risk of falling prey to being forgotten, especially after two very memorable entries. If you suffer from dizziness, you might want to go for a toilet break during this one.
Best lyric: “Sukasi ratu galvoje momentai“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 4 – Switzerland
Every year at Eurovision there is always one John Lewis Advert song, and this year that is Marius Bear’s Boys Do Cry. While Latvia’s messaging maybe crude, the messaging here is about as preachy as you can get: “toxic masculinity bad” to the tune of a jazzy ballad, which would fit perfectly in a Christmas Advert.
To make things worse, Marius Bear’s stage presence is limited, and the staging, itself, is non-existent, apart from a small change of lighting.
What could save Switzerland, possibly, is if enough people connect to the message, and decide it’s worth voting for, however, I can’t really see that happening.
Best lyric: “Mountains they crumble and rivers they run dry“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 5 – Slovenia
From Slovenia come Last Pizza Slice, or LPS, with their funky tune Disko, a 70s throwback about a school prom. If anyone’s going to know about school prom’s it is LPS, as they all are in their final year of school, having formed during music classes.
Disko is a nice little tune, but not necessarily the sort of song voters seem to gravitate towards. If you though Lithuania’s staging was dizzy, Slovenia takes it to the next level, as we get several 360-degree spins of that giant disco ball… so be warned.
Best lyric: “Ta pogled, poln nezvestobe“
Qualification Chance: Possibly
Song 6 – Ukraine
Ukraine are, for obvious reasons, perhaps the most talked about entry this year. Their song, Stefania, was selected in February, through a live-show held in Kyiv, Vidbir. Just a few weeks later, Russia began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. However, it has to be pointed out that before the invasion began, Ukraine were already 5th place in the bookmakers’ odds, and while that has since risen to 1st, due to the war, the song was still a favourite to win, beforehand.
The song itself is a folk-rap song, and Kalush Orchestra are especially talented performers, one of which includes Ihor Didenchuk, who was previously part of Go_A, making this his third year in a row representing Ukraine.
Best lyric: “Khochu shche pochuty tvoye ridne slovo“
Qualification Chance: Certain
Song 7 – Bulgaria
After a break, which depending on your country will either be for advertisements or a few minutes of filler by the hosts, we jump into Bulgaria, one of three rock songs this year.
Despite being a powerhouse in recent years, this entry falls about as flat as possible. Very obviously inspired by Måneskin’s win, it fails to work, fundamentally, as a good song, leaving much to be desired. If you’re entertained by a bunch of middle-aged Bulgarian men trying to rock out, then this one is for you, though.
Best lyric: “So, I go seek inner signs, or a calling“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 8 – The Netherlands
For several years in a row, the Netherlands failed to qualify to the Grand Final, during the late-2000s and early-2010s, but in 2013 that all change with Anouk’s Birds. Since then, the Dutch have been going strong at Eurovision, picking up high-score after high-score, which culminated in them winning in 2019, with Duncan Laurence’s Arcade. So it comes as no surprise that this year, the Netherlands are one of the hot favourites to win.
De Diepte is the first entry entirely in Dutch that the Netherlands have sent for over two-decades, and it’s a cold ballad, which sounds like something from a movie soundtrack. It’s really one to watch, especially as it could see us returning to Rotterdam, again, next year.
Best lyric: “Ik zit diep en ik wil jou niet laten gaan“
Qualification Chance: Certain
Song 9 – Moldova
Zdob şi Zdub are no strangers to Eurovision, as they are part of a very elite club of artists who have participated on three separate occasions. The first was actually Moldova’s first ever Eurovision entry at the Kyiv contest in 2005, while the second was at the Düsseldorf contest in 2011. Now, Zdob şi Zdub join forces with the violin-clad Advahov Brothers to sing us a fun little number about a train journey from Chișinău, the capital of Moldova, to Bucharest, the capital of Romania. It’s a lot of fun and a joy to watch… but…
Yes, there’s a but, although we were just speaking about Ukraine, which has a lot of political context around it, Ukraine is not the most political song this year, by far… no, that goes to Moldova. The song has a deeper meaning when speaking about the two capital cities, as Zdob şi Zdub are actually referring to their support for the political movements in Moldova and Romania to unify both countries into a single nation… a move that has largely been stopped from happening by Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Translated lyrics include “From one country to another / What’s the country? Are they fused? / Seems like one, but also two / Both together and apart / Are there two, or just one?”
However, the song is a lot of fun, and Zdob şi Zdub do have great stage presence, as always.
Best lyric: “Pleacă trenul! Unde esti? Chisinău – București“
Qualification Chance: Possibly
Song 10 – Portugal
Portugal, on the whole, don’t have a great track record at Eurovision, with only 1 win in 52 participations, and an extremely poor qualification record, not much is to be expected. However, the hype around Saudade, Saudade has come quite out of the blue. It’s become one of the most talked about songs in the Eurovision fandom, perhaps because of it’s ethereal nature, in it’s low-key cold style.
It’s one that’s harder to predict, placing wise, but something tells me, unlike Eurovision fans who have heard the song dozens of times, after one listen, the general public may be unlikely to vote for this.
Best lyric: “Nothing more that I can say, says it in a better way“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 11 – Croatia
From Croatia, this year, comes a very pretty ballad about a woman cheating on her husband. Staging wise it’s awash with a strange little interpretative dance, and a dress that kind-of undermines the girl-next-door feel the song is going for.
While the song is easy on the ears, and does, unlike Portugal, sound like a normal pop song you’d hear on the radio, staging wise, we’re unsure if this will be strong enough to make it.
Best lyric: “Would you run away with me?“
Qualification Chance: Possibly
Song 12 – Denmark
Who wanted Pop Punk at Eurovision? No-one… well never fear The Show by REDDI is here. Yes, Denmark have decided to enter a ballad which soon turns into an all out mediocre Pop Punk song, this year.
The Show feels about 20 years to late, and even then, is not that strong of a song in itself. The lead singer has charisma, but that’s about all it has going for it.
Best lyric: “You never followed and now you’re blocked“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 13 – Austria
After another short break, we return for Austria, who are fielding an 19-year old DJ, LUM!X, and 18-year old Singer, Pia Maria, in perhaps the biggest club song to hit Eurovision since Gina G’s (Ooh… Ahh…) Just a Little Bit in 1996. The song has already become the 2nd most streamed song of 2022, but despite this, questions are being asked about its qualification.
The reason why is Pia Maria’s vocals have been questionable in rehearsals, severely falling behind what is expected from a live performance. While they have improved, throughout the past week, gradually, this has involved a pitch shift on the backing track, which has somewhat diluted its energy.
Qualification is likely, but not certain, which is a shame, because the studio version is a banger.
Best lyric: “Philosophers like Socrates define yourself, think on your feet“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 14 – Iceland
In every Eurovision show there is a toilet break song, and sadly for Systur, it’s Iceland’s Með hækkandi sól, this year. The song is a very slow and very dull country ballad, which features three sisters: Elín Eyþórsdóttir, Elísabet Eyþórsdóttir & Sigríður Eyþórsdóttir, on stage with guitars. If you miss this, you’re not missing much.
Best lyric: “Fegurð í frelsi sem þokast nær“
Qualification Chance: Unlikely
Song 15 – Greece
Amanda Tenfjord from Greece is one of the favourites from this years’ contest, with her heart wrenching ballad Die Together. The song is very lowkey with it’s staging though, choosing to focus on Amanda and her powerful vocals, instead of providing some sort of odd distraction, like Croatia’s interpretative dancers.
Best lyric: “Take my heart and rip it out“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Song 16 – Norway
This year gives us Eurovision‘s first representatives that aren’t from the planet Earth, as Norway’s Subwoolfer are from the Moon (or at least they claim to be). The mystery surrounding Subwoolfer has probably been even more talked about than the song itself, Give That Wolf A Banana, a true out-and-out 2000s style comedy entry.
Rumours have suggested that Subwoolfer are in fact Ylvis, the Norwegian duo behind What Did the Fox Say?, however in recent weeks another contender, Ben Adams from boyband A1, has become a more popular choice, due to his unusual sightings close to Eurovision events.
The song itself is a rather silly dance song about the story of Red Riding Hood, crossed with stuff about aliens from the moon. It’ll be a televote favourite, for sure, and the kids’ll love it. Is it dumb? – hell yeah – but that’s the point.
Best lyric: “Not sure you have a name so I will call you Keith“
Qualification Chance: Certain
Song 17 – Armenia
Finally, tonight’s show will end with Armenia, who were absent from last year’s Eurovision due to the invasion of Armenia by Azerbaijan. This year, hot off the tails of winning the Junior Eurovision Song Contest, Armenia are back with Rosa Linn’s Snap.
Snap is a nice gentle pop-ballad, which essentially is what happens with you take Croatia and give it a bit more life, and a more charismatic performer. Alongside some very clever staging, Snap is sure to reach a good result.
Best lyric: As if it was really that easy for me to get over you“
Qualification Chance: Likely
Interval Acts
After the voting lines open, whereby the 17 participating countries can vote, alongside France & Italy, tonight (but not for themselves), as is Eurovision tradition we go onto the interval acts.
In this Semi-Final there are two. The first is entitled The Sound of Dance and sees Italian songwriter and producer, Dardust (who wrote Italy’s 2019 entry), unite with Benny Benassi (who you might know from his 2002 mega-hit Satisfaction), Sylvia Catasta (a flautist) and Sheffield-based-band, Sophie and the Giants (who while are platinum selling stars in Italy, are fairly unknown in the UK), to perform a journey through Italian Disco.
The act will also pay tribute to Rafaella Carrà, a giant of the Italian Disco scene, who was originally planned to host this event, but sadly passed away late last year.
The second interval act sees a performance of Fai Rumore by Diodato. Fai Rumore was Italy entry to the 2020 Eurovision Song Contest, which never took place due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Fai Rumore was also one of the hot favourites to win the 2020 contest, and this interval act will see him performing the song for the very first time on the Eurovision stage. Given the emotion impact of the song, and its wider context in the pandemic, it’s sure to be an emotional moment.
Finally, we will get a short pre-recorded video clip called Eurovision Confidential which will guide us through some memorable Eurovision entries of years gone past.
Junior Eurovision
After this, Malèna (the winner of Junior Eurovision Song Contest 2021) will arrive on stage to be interviewed by Alessandro, while her winning song, Qami Qami, is played in the background. After this, Malèna will introduce a promo for the contest in December.
The Big 5 Previews
Italy, United Kingdom, Spain, Germany & France form the Big 5, who are the 5 biggest finical contributors to the European Broadcasting Union, the organisation that among a lot of other things, organisers the Eurovision Song Contest. These countries, therefore, do not participate in the Semi Finals and receive automatic qualification to the Grand Final on Saturday.
As such, tonight, two of the five entries will be previewed, alongside an interview with the artists. These two entries will be France’s Fulenn and Italy’s Brividi. A live performance from the rehearsal will be played for about 30 seconds.
Qualifiers Announcement
The final part of the show will see 10 of the performers announced as qualifiers to Saturday’s Grand Final. They will be announced in no particular order by the hosts, one by one.
The exact points and voting information will not be revealed to the general public until following the Grand Final’s completion on Saturday, as not to give anything away about how did the best.
Following that, the show will end, and on Thursday we’ll do it all again with a further 18 countries!
